


You Have To Get Up

by readysteadytrek



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek TOS - Fandom, Star Trek: The Original Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 21:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3224420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readysteadytrek/pseuds/readysteadytrek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Jim. Please".</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Have To Get Up

**Author's Note:**

> I am dyslexic but I have checked through best I can for any mistakes. If there are still some, I am sorry. I hope it does not disturb your reading experience.

Jim sat there. His heavy head held up the protective glass. Time and space had ceased. Nothing matter. Nothing existed. He just sat there.

Bones looked at Jim before rubbing his forehead. The whole room felt the sheer weight of Jim's lost. It was so intense that no one felt their own. Bones thought he'd be crying, he thought Scotty would be crying, heck, he thought the damn ensigns would be crying. But the room was silent. All that could be heard was the echo of engines.

Bones was more angry than upset.

“How dare you leave him here like this. How dare you leave me with him, do you have any idea what the hell I now have to go through to pick this man back up? You selfish bastard. It would have been kinder to kill us all than this. I don't want to do this”.

Bones felt the irony in his thoughts, but it didn't stop him feeling bitter.

As he carried on watching Jim with deep concern, the comm link lit up.

“We are safely out of danger and the ship is at near full power. The ship is now at a stand still till you give the orders, Admiral”.

No one answered. A few looked at the comm but they did nothing. All the white suited engineers just looked to Scotty and Bones for help.

There was no training that could prepare them for something like this.

“Admiral? We need orders” Sulu said over the link.

No one answered.

“Admiral? Scotty? Engineering?” He asked.

Scotty walked over to link.

“Give us a minute here!” and slammed the comm off. The noise made a few ensigns jump, but Jim still remained on the floor not moving. Bones couldn't tell if he was even breathing. His whole being had just stopped existing.

With a shake of his head Bones moved towards him. His Admiral, his comrade, his friend...Never had Bones seen a man look so helpless, look so lost. His bitterness still held him.

He bent down to Jim's level. He could see the full effects of the radiation burns on Spock through the glass. Green blood almost cooked onto the glass. His friend died in impossible pain, and he left that pain behind in Jim.

 _'Self sacrifice is only good to the sacrificed. Everyone else is left with the damage of the action'_ Bones thought.

Yes, his heroism saved them all. It saved all of their lives, but yet before Bones, on the cold floor of engineering, was a dead friend, and a friend who looked like he wanted to die.

“Jim?”

He didn't response.

Scotty shuffled uncomfortably in his large uniform. The whole situation was making in shudder in horror.

Could they ever pick this man back up?

 _'I will do whatever is needed to help that man'_ Scotty thought. He meant with all of his heart.

 

“Jim? You have to give me something, please”.

 

Jim lifted his head slightly just so he could adjust the angle before letting it fall back down the glass. He was facing Bones a little better now.

This was better than nothing.

Despite not crying, Jim's eyes were intensely red with a deep glaze. Bones could see his own reflection in his eyes. Jim was trembling were he sat.

“Jim, you have to get up” Bones pleaded.

Jim still didn't move, he still didn't speak. Bones sighed heavily as he ran his hands through his hair. A tension headache was now making itself present.

He turned to look at Scotty who was now wiping small tears away. He was going to be no help to Bones.

“Jim, please. You have to give me more than this. I don't want to force you into sick bay. But I will, if I must”.

Jim looked back up into his eyes.

Never had a man looked older.

Jim reached out and grabbed one of his hands.

“I don't know what to do, Bones”. His voice shook and trembled as he spoke. The words were an endless effort to speak. Jim did not want to take in what had happened. He wanted to pretend this was a cruel joke by the universe. Perhaps it was?

Bones held onto Jim's hand tightly.

“You're going to get up. We will stand up together” he held a little tighter as he spoke.

“I can't”

“Yes you can Jim”

“I don't want to get up without him”. He moved his head back to look at Spock, though he moved it quickly back in pain at the sight of friends radiated face.

“No. I don't want to either, and I wont claim to know how you feel, but you have to get up. There is a whole ship waiting for you, Admiral” Bones spoke in a quiet voice. He tried to stop his voice from being husky and harsh.

“To hell with the ship”.

Bones threw his head back. He couldn't comprehend his friend saying that.

_'The great and iconic Captain Kirk no longer wants the Enterprise. The galaxy has lost two heroes today'_

“You need this ship, Jim. And it needs you”

“I need...” Jim picked up spare hand and placed it on the glass behinds Spock head. “...I just....” Bones eyes welled. He knew the words. He knew them and they stabbed him.

“I need Spock”.

And before Bones, Jim finally broke down. His head fell from the weight of tears. He clenched both hands, one made hard noises against the glass desperately trying to hold Spock, while the other held Bones hand so hard that it was beginning to hurt him.

Engineering now echoed the Admiral's weeping, all sound bouncing off the damaged walls. Ensigns began holding their heads down. They dare not look at such a sight. They dare not cry.

Bones tried to get his words together through his own sparse tears.

“I know, Jim. But he's gone. And you can't be here forever”

“Why not? Why can't I be by his side forever? That was the plan, Bones. That's what we wanted. How could he ever expect me to do this without him?”

Bones took a breath he did not ask for and spoke without thought.

“He expects it because he knows who you are. Because you have always been a great hero and human being in his eyes and you know that. In all the years we have been doing this together, he has always thought that. And he knows you better than anyone, even me, Jim”. Bones rubbed Jim's hand with his thumb. He wasn't sure the words he spoke were even his own...Bones shivered.

“He would expect you to get up, Jim. To come with me. We don't have to go to sick bay, we don't...”

“I want to stay here”

Bones was getting no where with him.

A small puddle was now forming under Jim's head on the floor. It was not a beautiful or mystic cry, but a broken one. His tears harsh and heavy, his nose ran, his mouth blubbered. There was no shame in this crying.

Bones just held his hand and cursed his knees for not liking to be bent for so long.

Behind him, Scotty started shuffling the ensigns out.

“Give us a minute. I will call you, just wait out here”. The doors shut behind them. It was only the three of them now. Scotty walked over to Jim and Bones. He sat down by Jim, his body nearly covered the sight of Spock's. Jim looked up him in a needing way.

Scotty lifted his arm up and put it round Jim's shoulders and pulled him in tight. Jim let Bones sore hand go and clasped onto Scotty's almost pillowed uniform and dug his head into it and nearly screamed his broken heart out into him. Bones rubbed Jim's back.

“It's alright, lad. It's gonna be alright”.

 

 


End file.
